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Kalgoorlie Parenting Information Centre,
St. Barbara’s Square, Kalgoorlie
Ph: 9021 6844 Fax: 9021 5382
Email: Kalpic@dcd.wa.gov.au
Wilson Street Centre: 171 Wilson St (opp Seniors Village)
BEING A FATHER – THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB
YOU’LL EVER DO!
Abridged by Trudi Cornish from fact sheet
written by Claire Halsey, Clinical Psychologist,
Department for Community Development.
There are many different kinds of fathers. You may be in a traditional, nuclear family, a stepfamily, have full time care as a sole parent or have your children with you on a regular basis.
In the past, fathers were rarely involved in the day-to-day parenting of their children. They were usually the authority figure of the family, setting the rules and applying discipline. Mothers often had the role of the caring parent.
The role fathers play in bringing up their children has changed in recent years.
Fathers are now being recognised as carers, role models for their children and part of the parenting team.
With more women in the paid workforce than ever before, fathers are becoming more involved in day-to-day family life and caring for their children.
Bringing up children is both rewarding and challenging. Parents often talk about the joys of watching their children grow up but parenting is not always easy. As parents, we must make difficult decisions about how to help our children grow and develop.
Being part of a parenting team means that you and your partner share the decisions and responsibilities for bringing up the children.
Deciding together how you care for your children includes planning routines, school and leisure activities. It is also about deciding how you, as a parent, will encourage good behaviour and discourage unacceptable behaviour.
Balancing your responsibilities is very important. As a father you don’t want to feel that you are the only one responsible for disciplining the children, or that you are left out of the whole process altogether.
It is a good idea to set aside some time to talk with your partner about the following topics:
* How will we get everyone involved to celebrate when one of the children has achieved something special? Perhaps a trip to the movies to celebrate a good report.
* What will we do to help the children develop? You may decide to go swimming with them on the weekends and your partner will take them to after school sports. This way, both of you can be involved in their leisure and achievements.
* What sort of discipline will we use? Positive discipline works best. Tell your children what they should do, not what they shouldn’t do. Catch them being good and praise good behaviour.
Making time for your self is also very important. Parenting can be a tiring and demanding job and sometimes you may feel that there is never a quiet moment to catch your breath. Caring for yourself, meeting your own emotional, physical and health needs, spending special time with your partner, enjoying the company of friends can help you to strengthen your relationship with your partner and help you be the best father you can be for your children.
Remember
- When fathers are involved in the day-to-day care of their babies, it builds special bonds which are important for children and fathers.
- Even if you don’t see your children a lot, you can still build happy memories with together.
- While children still have different experiences with their fathers than their mothers, the important thing is to be loved by caring adults in their lives.
- How you act when you are with your children them teaches them how to act when they grow up.
- Children, as they get older, need to know that you love them even if they choose different ways to do things.
- Share your ideas about parenting with the children’s mother if possible. Listen to hers.
For more information
Living with babies, Living with toddlers, Living with children, Living with teenagers and Living with stepfamilies are available free of charge from the Kalgoorlie Parenting Information Centre, St. Barbara’s Square, Kalgoorlie, ph: 9021 6844.
The Centre is a free lending library funded by the Dept. for Community Development.
Books, videos, pamphlets and other resources are all available for loan. The Centre has a microwave and kitchen facilities. There is also a playpen and comfortable lounge area for feeding babies.
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